There are countless studies which show that fake it ’til you make it works. For some examples, read our previous post: The Power Of Intention Through Statements. In this post it clearly outlines that believing in something as if you already have it, seems to set an impression on your own mind, increasing the force at which the goal is brought to you in the physical world.
“To be a great champion, you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.” – Muhammad Ali
In the past, we’ve only really discussed fake it ’til you make it at the thought level – i.e. believing in something you desire to be true. However, pretending to be a certain way physically, also has a way of manifesting. Studies have suggested that even the simple act of smiling can make you feel happier.
It may surprise you to learn that the vast majority of messages that people get from us are non verbal, whether it is from a facial expression, a gesture, or even the way that we hold ourselves while we are talking. How many times have you found yourself judging people as soon as you meet them, without really being able to understand why? It may all be to do with their body language! With this being the case, it is clearly very important that we try to think about the messages that we’re conveying with our body language, and consider the ways in which we could influence people more positively by what we do.
Take a look at the TED Talks video below. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy discusses how body language not only affects how others see us, but can also change how we see ourselves.
Here are 5 lessons we can learn from Amy in the video above. Think of these lessons as tips, to help shift the perception of yourself, in a way that you desire.
1. We are influenced by the way we act
Have you ever noticed that when you are feeling down, you try to make yourself as small as possible? This might be by curling up in a ball when you are in bed, or by slumping in your chair if you’re sitting at a desk or watching television – no matter how you do it, it is a common action for both humans and animals alike, and it can be amazing to see just how similar our body language is to that of other mammals. What is less known, however, is that we can actually change the way that we feel about ourselves by changing our body language in subtle ways – so if you know you’re feeling down, simply walking a little taller as you travel down the street can be great with regards to being able to change your mood. If you feel unhappy, forcing yourself to smile can be almost as effective as being made to smile for real, making it much more likely that you will soon actually feel that emotion.
2. We can change other people’s thoughts about us
Not only can we change the way that we feel about ourselves, but we can also influence the thoughts of other people by using our body language. If we constantly look as though we are tense and stressed about something, people are going to think that we are unapproachable, or that we don’t want to chat, and as a result of this they may not bother to come and speak to us at all. If, however, we make our body language as open as we possibly can, this makes it much more likely that people who interact with us will have a positive experience, meaning that they will want to do it again in the future, and may wish to stay in touch with us – which can be very beneficial if we have been chatting to a new business contact, for example.
3. Being powerful is changing your stress reaction
People often have many different ideas of what “power” actually is, and are more likely to be able to simply name “powerful” people, rather than what it is that makes them powerful. However, research has shown that your “power” can have a lot to do with the way in which you react to stress. Simply put, those with lower levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in challenging situations are thought to be more powerful and successful than those with higher levels. With this information being true, it is important that you should manage your stress levels effectively if you know that it is something that you tend to struggle with. There are lots of ways in which you can do this, including relaxation techniques or even counselling if you have problems with anxiety. No matter which of the methods you use, however, it is vital that you address your issues with stress, as it really can make a difference with regards to both how you are perceived, and how successful you are in the ventures that you carry out.
4. Just small changes can make a huge difference
So, now you know that by changing the way you act, you can change the way that you feel and also the way that others feel about you. But this might seem daunting if it isn’t something that you have ever tried before. For this reason, you should be comforted to know that you only really need to make tiny changes before you can see a difference. Imagine that you have a job interview – it is much better to take some time in the bathroom to practice your relaxation techniques or your positive mirror poses than it is to sit on a chair in a waiting room just feeling nervous without being able to do anything about it. It has been shown that people who practice these things are much more likely to succeed in their interview than those who do not, so it is definitely worth the few minutes that it would take.
5. You don’t just fake it – you become it
By using the points above, and those that are made in the video, to change the way that you portray yourself, you will soon be able to notice subtle changes in the way that you act and feel. Although it may feel as though you are simply putting on a show to begin with, you will soon find that your new behaviour becomes second nature, meaning that you are not just acting like the person that you want to be – but you have actually managed to become that person. It is a great achievement when you realise that you have increased your confidence for real, and you will certainly notice that you will be more successful in the long term because of it.
“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.” – Paulo Coelho
So, as you can see fake it ’til you make it is very real. However, sometimes people get the wrong end of the stick. Fake, meaning not real, can sometimes imply that people pretend to be something they’re not, for ego purposes; possibly attention. Yet Amy has quite clearly demonstrated how powerful the phrase really is, and that it’s not just about being fake ’til you make it, but rather ’til you become it. Just a few actions now can indeed shape the way that you feel about yourself, and how people feel about you. This, in turn, can slowly develop your confidence into something that will be incredibly hard to break – so it is definitely worth the time taken to work on it now, as it is sure to have great rewards in the future.
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Author: Vex King
I am the founder and owner of the Bon Vita lifestyle brand. I could give myself a title and call myself a lifestyle entrepreneur, personal mentor, writer, designer, innovator, CEO, or anything else I see as fitting. However no title can define me as an individual. I’m just an optimist, a visionary, a philanthropist and jack of many trades. I’m using my positive influence to redefine the creative industries using Good Vibes Only #GVO so that people can fulfil their dreams, purposefully, and enjoy The Good Life #TGL. My daily words of intent are to make people… Think, look & feel GOOD!
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