Monday morning you’re at work, eager to share weekend news. You’re on the lookout for a certain co-worker because, “She’s just so easy to talk with, “ or, “It’s always great when he’s around”. Maybe friends are looking for you, for the same reasons. What ingredients combine to create this very likeable, sought after person? Why the heightened social regard? On the short list, there are 10 common qualities we can all aspire to achieve.

1. Humility

You’re not a braggart, and you don’t impose yourself into others’ conversations in order to strut your stuff. Rather than pose as a self-proclaimed authority, you’re an active listener. You show restraint and respect by listening well and validating others. You don’t think less of yourself. You think of yourself less.

2. Personal Boundaries

You don’t offer unsolicited advice or opinions. You don’t eavesdrop, snoop, gossip, or need to be first to know whatever and broadcast. Instead, you keep your own council and boundaries . You’re seen as a trusted, close-mouthed friend.

3. Praise

You notice and compliment the unique qualities and success of others. You genuinely appreciate and applaud accomplishment.

4. Sincerity

Your behaviour is clear, honest and consistent. You aren’t swayed by popular opinion if you happen to disagree. You don’t pander to others for approval. Because you’re predictable you are seen as reliable. People count on you, and they can.

5. Optimism

Your glass is always half-full. Despite differences, you manage to find qualities in others to direct your focus. You understand that, like you, no one is without shortcomings.

6. Confidence

You practice esteem-able acts to maintain your own self-esteem. You know, trust, respect and accept yourself. Your inner strength has a magnetic influence, drawing others who seek your friendship, advice and support.

7. Patience

You understand that we all have a learning curve and limits. You practice kindness and tolerance, fully aware life isn’t a fire drill.

8. Forgiveness

You afford others the right to be wrong and forgive transgressions. You recognize there is value in everything and resentment is a toxic attachment to another. You let things go rather than perpetuate discontent.

9. Curiosity

Rather than assume or jump to conclusions, you collect all the data in order to offer a fair, unbiased weigh-in on situations. Curiosity allows to you be more open minded.

10. Generosity

You offer help without being intrusive. You share your time, useful information, random surprise treats, simply for the greater good. If time allows, you volunteer for a cause or group you support. You know that giving increases personal reward.

Inspired? See your strengths, your stretch goals? As a humbled work-in-progress, I think I’ll tackle patience first. I almost feel a smidge more kind already.

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Author: PJ

PJ is a freelance writer and artist who lives in Northern Colorado. Offline, she volunteers at a local recovery resource, hikes, bikes, and loves all things Native American.

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