Children’s mental health is just as critical to a child’s overall development as physical health is. Mental health influences how children think and feel, as well as how they cope with not only difficult situations but day-to-day life.

Mental health is so often poorly understood by our society that it shames us from opening up and having important and life-changing conversations. But if we change how we educate and empower our children by having discussions early in childhood, we can establish healthy habits that provide them with the ability to live a positive and prosperous life.

Here are 4 tips for having conversations about mental health with your children:

1. Find approachable conversation starters

Talking about mental health can be challenging for both parent and child. You may be unfamiliar to the topic, or you may think that your child will not be receptive nor understand. Quite frankly, it can be hard to know what to say. Begin by finding out what your child already knows with a question such as, “What have you heard about mental health?” This encourages open conversation without influencing their answer with your own preconceived notions. Additionally, experts suggest a manageable way to bring up the topic is to find a conversation starter from everyday life, “A movie that features a character with mental health challenges or a celebrity who has had a positive experience could make for good entry points.” Making connections can help children understand what others may experience with a mental illness and more importantly, that mental health is a normal part of everyday life, even if it’s expressed differently in people.

2. Be mindful when talking and listening

Whether your child is 5 or 15, it’s never too early or too late to have discussions surrounding mental health. All that matters is that you start talking and continue to have these discussions. But regardless of what age a child is, productive conversations require an environment where everyone feels safe and secure to ask questions, and know that their thoughts are being heard. The best practice for creating this type of environment is to be mindful of good etiquettes like listening without interrupting, speaking without judgment, and validating all thoughts and questions. Continue by asking questions about how your child feels and let the conversation continue naturally from there. “As a child ages, their knowledge and understanding grows, and their questions evolve,” claims Jill Dennison, a mental health promotion and resilience facilitator at the Canadian Mental Health Association, “at that point, the conversation can deepen.”

3. Take advantage of the resources available to you

Inevitably, not all conversations work out as we’d hoped and planned. Luckily, when words fail, there is an abundance of mental health resources available. Listen to a podcast with your child that explains the experiences of others who may be going through the same thing, or who can provide insight in an age-appropriate way. Finding a method that allows your child to relate to someone on a more relevant level is essential. This can help children make sense of what mental health really means and can help normalize the conditions it encompasses.

4. Encourage other outlets for discussions

Writing can be a powerful tool that encourages children to think and talk about mental health even if they might not ordinarily feel comfortable talking about it face-to-face. Dr. Christine Wittman, of Harvard Longwood Psychiatry, poses the idea of having a journal for your child to write down questions they may have and then you as the parent can write back with answers. It’s important to be transparent; if your child asks a question that you don’t know the answer to or are unsure how to vocalize, be honest and tell them you don’t know. Ensure them that you will do your best to find an answer to their question or will find someone else who is able to help, like a counsellor or doctor. Writing doesn’t solely have to be for interpersonal purposes either. Journals are a healthy outlet for children who may still have trouble talking about their mental health. Journaling is a creative way for children to express their thoughts and to release any negative emotions they might be internalizing.

Mental health affects us all. The brain is the same as any other organ in the body in the sense that it can get sick too. If we talk about mental health like we do any other illness, early and consistently, then we are setting our children up for success in the future. Ultimately, reassure your child that you are there to support them in any way they need. Be open to hearing their thoughts, feelings, and needs. Having a safe environment to talk is a powerful way to change the way we work through mental health.

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Author: Donnie Simpson

Donnie is a psychology major, and aspiring writer and entrepreneur. He is a big believer in making mental health issues more known so we can tackle them together as a society.

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