Words – sometimes they don’t come easy and other times they travel out of your mouth just a bit too quick. While there are plenty of hurtful and damaging ways we can use words, they also have the power to heal and create love. In fact, if you want to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong, you need to opt for words that empower and generate love and trust. So, what are those words? Here are five magical words that can save your relationship.
The simple word ‘please’ can easily escape your vocabulary when you are in a relationship with someone. Although you wouldn’t forget to use it when talking with a colleague or client, your partner can be a different matter. How many times have you just said, “Take the dog out?”
Uttering the word ‘please’ makes your inquiry seem more thoughtful and less forceful. You’re not just telling your partner to do this or say that, you are giving them a choice – and we humans love choices. It can become more like a military operation if you always just tell each other want you want and less like a loving partnership of two equals. Remember, a relationship is not forcing someone to act in a specific way – you shouldn’t try to change your partner.
If you are using the word ‘why’ regularly in your conversations with your partner, try changing it to ‘how.’ ’Why’ tends to sound more accusative and attacking, while ‘how’ can lead to a more open and honest dialogue. It essentially creates a sentence that doesn’t question but seeks to understand. Consider the example of asking what led to your partner not responding to your calls. If you say, “Why didn’t you answer me?” you create a situation where your partner is likely to just respond defensively. On the other hand, if you say, “How come you didn’t respond back?” you diffuse the situation because the response will be less about defending, but more about explaining. ‘Why’ makes people list reasons for their behaviour, while ‘how’ makes them explain what happened.
‘How’ is also a better word to use when discussing money, which is one of the major reasons behind relationship breakdowns. Instead of telling your partner, “Why did you spend so much money on a TV?” you provide them room to explain not justify by stating, “How did you find the deal?”
You should also regularly use the word ‘thankful’ when talking with your partner. If you don’t find ways to add this to your vocabulary, your relationship is not doing well. After all, you must feel thankful for having him/her in your life?
The ugly truth is long-term relationship can lead to taking the other person for granted. Even though the way your partner cooks you breakfast makes you happy, you don’t really pay attention to it anymore. But saying how thankful you are about it shows appreciation and makes the person feel more valued.
You should also use the word to encounter negative criticism. If your partner tells you to be supportive, you don’t need to say ‘sorry’ every time. Instead, acknowledge what he is saying by stating, “Thank you for telling me you feel that way.” Indeed, The Muse had an interesting story on the use of ‘thank you’ in place of ‘sorry’.
There’s a saying “no ifs, and no buts”. While this attitude can help you in some situations, it definitely won’t be constructive in a relationship. There will be times for those ifs and buts – nothing is black and white in a partnership. If you are able to add the word ‘but’ to your vocabulary when talking to your partner, you show you can make compromises.
Indeed, studies have shown that couples who use the word tend to be happier as well. It’s because the word leaves room for both the negative and the positive. Instead of focusing on the bad things your partner might do, you also add a positive take on things. For example, saying, “You didn’t remember to take the trash out, but I’m happy you cooked us dinner” shows more positivity than simply blurting out, “You didn’t do the right thing.”
Finally, you should remember to shake up your relationship with the occasional surprises. If you always do the same things, you make the relationship seem like a routine. What happens with routines? We become bored with them and start seeking thrills elsewhere. So, why not make your relationship the thrill again?
“Surprise!” can be shouted in different occasion. Perhaps you bought a gift when it wasn’t even a special occasion. Maybe you can book flights to a destination out of the blue or just cook a homemade dinner when your partner least expects it. You can show appreciation and create surprising moments for your partner in countless little ways. Little treats don’t have to break the bank either – you can find romantic ideas for surprises from different retailers like Love Honey and utilise Hot UK Savings codes.
Words are powerful and they can be used to hurt or to show love. It’s important to pay attention to words and use them in a way that enhances your relationship. The above five words are definitely worth uttering to your partner – they can save your relationship.
If you enjoyed this post, feel free to share it with your friends and family. After all, sharing is caring!
Nick, an Analyst from HotUKSavings is having a profound inclination towards Business Analysis and Research. Besides work, he devotes his time in reading and sharing knowledge by contributing articles from diverse genres.