Human interaction is what our species thrives on – we love to give love and to receive it. The inherent joy that companionship brings us can far exceed the joy brought on by anything else. But, with the craving for love and companionship, comes the craving for more and more knowledge about that other human being.

Who are they when they’re alone? What do they think about when they fall asleep at night? The key to any relationship is getting to know each other – and the key to maintaining a relationship is to never stop that process of getting to know each other. There is always something more to find out.

Here are ten ways to get to know your partner better, rather you have been together for a while or are still dancing in the honeymoon stages.

1. Learn each other’s weaknesses 

While at first that can sound like a turnoff – you don’t want to share that you aren’t as perfect as they think – this is a great way to grow ever so close. We often get stressed and have anxiety about the unknown factors in our relationship, but the best form of stress management is simply talking it out with your partner. Once you have begun to form a bond, there is no reason to keep secrets anymore. In fact, weaknesses can be a beautiful aspect of life that could bring you even closer together.

2. Talk about your past

Another punch in the gut – talk about your past? That just sounds crazy. But, when you truly love someone, you can put their past aside. Your past can haunt you like a ghost, and it will continue to linger over your shoulder until you do something about it. Especially if your past affects your reactions and involvement in your current relationship, it is best to give your partner some insight as to why you are the way you are. The best way to let go of the past is to get if off your chest.

3. Take a vacation together

A weekend trip, or a full-blown summer vacation, it doesn’t matter the length or details of the trip – just go somewhere! When you can get away from your everyday routines and the hustle and bustle of your busy lives, you will be amazed what you can learn about each other and how much closer you can grow without even trying. When you are out for a nice dinner or laying on the beach gazing at the stars, it suddenly becomes easier to just open up and let your words flow.

4. Test out each other’s hobbies

This tip is not only beneficial to your relationship but to you as an individual. By trying out your significant other’s hobby, you learn more about what they like. This gives you just a little more insight into their true personality and interests. You might even pick up an interest for it too, and you are sure to at least learn something new.

5. Plan a hang out with some of their oldest friends

People who have been friends with your partner forever and still are, most likely know just as much or more about your partner than you do. They have seen your partner in many different scenarios and have watched them grow over the years. Their oldest, truest friends can provide you with some great insight as to what they were like in their past, compared to what they are like now. It will also teach you more about the true colours of your partner to watch them interact with their closest friends.

6. Go on a “first date,” time and time again

The “first date” doesn’t have to stop after the very first one – this is a ritual that you can continue throughout the life of your relationship. Remember how dressed you got on that first date? How nervous were you? Remember those few pressing questions that you just could not wait to ask them to dig deeper into their personality? Don’t let that excitement and curiosity end! People are always changing with age, there is always something new to learn and there are always more questions that will arise that you will want answering. Make a point to go on a nice, “first date” with your partner every few months. Just enjoy each other’s company and talk, you never know where the conversation might lead.

7. Spend quality time with their parents

This pointer is like the concept of hanging out with their oldest friends. You learn more about your partner by hanging around people who have known them for a long time and people who have seen them in a variety of situations. The parents are the best resource for finding out great pointers about your partner! They raised them – they know what they love, what they hate, how hard it is to wake them up in the morning and what just makes them furious.

8. Set goals together

Setting goals together is a great way to multitask – you can accomplish the task of getting to know your partner better while also reaching a goal that you have set for the two of you. It can be anything – maybe a milestone to reach in your relationship or maybe a correlating personal goal. The point is to collaborate and have something new to focus on.

9. Develop a couple’s game

Like the game 21 questions, nobody says that finding out more about your partner must be serious. Buy a new game or make your own. Even add some funny questions in there just to see how your partner will react. The best way to find out more about someone is to simply ask. If it is a game, it becomes even more fun – you can ask crazier questions and come up with a cool prize. This is also a great date night idea!

10. Switch up your communication

Try switching up your normal topic of discussion – spend a few minutes just telling each other jokes, or talk about something that you both learned while doing each other’s hobbies. Rather than focusing on kids, money, bills and work like you typically do, find a new avenue of discussion. This will keep things interesting and might even get answers to questions about your spouse you didn’t even know you had.

As humans, we are always learning. We will never know everything that there is to know about everything and everyone. As humans, we are also always changing. So, even if you have been married for 50 years, chances are, your spouse is not the same person they were at 23 when you married them. You will never stop having questions and be wanting to find out more about your partner, so always look for new ways to communicate and find out new things about each other.

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Author: Steven Sanders

Steve is a recovering alcoholic, writer, and blogger at Haven House Addiction Treatment. He lives in Los Angeles, California and enjoys spending time with his family and on his motorcycle when not writing. He can be reached at

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